5 reasons why a cougar wants you and not your old man

woman laying out on boat

According to Freud, we stop competing for our mother’s sexual attention because we’re intimidated by our father’s penises. Well, that theory seems somewhat incomplete given the good news we have in store for you today.

There are many, many reasons why a cougar would rather jump your bones than cavort with your old man, and these are our top 5:

1. You’re the one that she wants

By default, a cougar is attracted to youth and so even if you have a father figure resembling George Clooney, you are still the player with the greatest advantage. Your age is one of the things that these women are attracted to, and so all you need to do is stay healthy and the attention that follows will take care of itself.

2. The cat is desperate to play… hard!

Cougars are generally always in very good shape. As a rule, they’ve either opted for a life free from children and therefore look to fill their days with adventure and wellbeing activities or they’ve already raised a family and are now looking to make up for lost time by rediscovering their youth. Either way, they won’t be looking for the cosy nights in with a mug of tea and a biscuit, like your dad tends to often enjoy now. They want to be enthralled by some fast-paced, energetic entertainment… and for this specific mission, you’re definitely the better fit.

3. Your naivety empowers them

Power is one of the greatest aphrodisiacs of all, and knowing more than somebody else gives a person ample opportunity to flex their intellectual muscles. Now, we’re not calling you dumb, but our money says that, in comparison, the cougar you’re lining up has been there and done it. Twice. And got a whole load of t-shirts explaining how she’s done it in great detail. By knowing more than you, she has no need to feel threatened and the fact they can impart wisdom at any time is a whole lot more appealing than dating an old-school fella who prefers to do things the traditional way. Embrace her worldly ways and you will always come up trumps!

4. You will boost their self-esteem

For a woman, nothing says “I’m a hot piece of ass” any louder than if they are walking around with a man at least ten years their junior hanging off their arm. It lets the world know they’ve still got it; that they are beautiful, interesting, on trend and incredibly good in bed. Answer me this, if you could feel all of the above by sleeping with you, would you choose an older guy?

5. She doesn’t need a man

If this woman cared about tradition then she would probably be married. If she was in a weak financial position then she might have “settled” for some guy with a stable job. If she didn’t like her own company or suffered from a crisis of confidence then she might have panicked and latched onto the first guy she kissed at school through fear of being alone. However, cougars are very strong, independent people. The fact that she doesn’t need anyone means that all of your dad’s best assets – the fact he can read a map, do the plumbing and make fire with his bare hands – are rendered useless. Now be glad that your new-age metrosexual ways aren’t going to hinder your chances with this woman and understand that she’s looking at you like she wants to devour because she does.


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